It’s Okay to Say ‘No’
Let’s face it. Not every proposal is going to be appropriate. Yet some people feel afraid to say “no.” They may either expect a hostile reaction or they want to be helpful. As a result, they end up inconveniencing both themselves and other people. Recognize that it is okay to say “no.” Here’s how to say “no” with class and respect.
Decline Early
Save time, energy, and stress by declining offers as soon as you realize you don’t want them. Unanswered questions follow us like hungry orphans, crying for our attention. And our stress increases as their numbers grow. Rescue yourself from this dilemma by making the right choices. This frees you to move on with other choices and it frees your mind to consider other possibilities.
Take an Active Role
Some people attempt to say “no” by ignoring the other person. While this may be an acceptable way to deal with junk mail and cold calls, it is a terrible strategy where you know the other person. This includes situations where you have asked someone to do something, such as send information, prepare a proposal, or call you back.
This strategy fails for the following reasons.
- At first, the other person may assume that you are unable to reply because you are traveling, recovering from surgery, or using a defective message system. Eventually, they conclude that you are being rude.
- Ignoring someone is both mean and unprofessional. It hurts the other person. And that creates feelings of resentment toward you and your company. Remember that those pesky salespeople can also be your customers or able to influence customers.
- This wastes your time and energy. You (or your staff) have to delete messages, toss out mail, and shove aside the other person’s attempts to reach you.
Take charge of the situation and tell the person “no.” For example, you can say, “I’m calling to tell you that I have no interest in your offer. Please remove my name from your list. Thank you.”If you want to avoid talking to the person, call when you expect the person will be away from the phone (e.g., during lunch, late evening, early morning, or on a weekend) and leave a message. Use the reply above. Otherwise, you can send e-mail, a fax, or a note by regular mail.
In all cases, keep the message brief, avoiding explanations or apologies. Just say “no” and move on.
“I wish I could”
When a person is argumentative, uncommonly persistent in demanding an explanation, or a friend whom you want to let down gently, use the magic phrase that ends the discussion: “I wish I could.” The complete reply should include 1) an acknowledgment of the offer, 2) “I wish I could,” and 3) an alternative possibility.
Here’s an example of how this might work in a sales situation. “I understand that you want me to buy your new gizmo. I wish I could. Perhaps Company XYZ may be interested. Good luck!”
External Resources:
1. Save The Deal Save The Relationship and Still Say No
2. Smart Women Know When to Say No
3. How to Say No Without Feeling Guilty
