Humor: God Outsources Too!

If you haven’t already, register a username for yourself so you can discuss this topic in our Outright Fun forum.

Think outsourcing is “man’s” invention? Well, think again. Outsourcing apparently began in Genesis! Check it out…

• God outsources a rather fiery event in Numbers 21:6: And the Lord sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
• God outsources heavenly signs and wonders in Deuteronomy 34:11: In all the signs and the wonders, which the Lord sent him to do in the land of Egypt to Pharaoh, and to all his servants, and to all his land…
• God outsources some friendly reminders in Judges 6:8: That the Lord sent a prophet unto the children of Israel, which said unto them, Thus saith the Lord God of Israel, I brought you up from Egypt, and brought you forth out of the house of bondage.
• God outsources that special touch in 1 Samuel 15:1: Samuel also said unto Saul, The Lord sent me to anoint thee to be king over his people, over Israel: now therefore hearken thou unto the voice of the words of the Lord.
• God outsources some mortal combat in 1 Samuel 15:18: And the Lord sent thee on a journey, and said, Go and utterly destroy the sinners the Amalekites, and fight against them until they be consumed.
• God outsources a total wipeout in 2 Kings 24:2: And the Lord sent against him bands of the Chaldees, and bands of the Syrians, and bands of the Moabites, and bands of the children of Ammon, and sent them against Judah to destroy it, according to the word of the Lord, which he spake by his servants the prophets.
• God outsources a little humility in 2 Chronicles 32:21: And the Lord sent an angel, which cut off all the mighty men of valour, and the leaders and captains in the camp of the king of Assyria. So he returned with shame of face to his own land. And when he was come into the house of his god, they that came forth of his own bowels slew him there with the sword.
• God outsources some strong words in Jeremiah 26:12: Then spake Jeremiah unto all the princes and to all the people, saying, The Lord sent me to prophesy against this house and against this city all the words that ye have heard.
• God outsources  a little hard work in Genesis 3:23: Therefore the Lord God sent him forth from the garden of Eden, to till the ground from whence he was taken.
• God outsources the future in Genesis 45:7: And God sent me before you to preserve you a posterity in the earth, and to save your lives by a great deliverance.
• God outsources total carnage in 1 Chronicles 21:15: And God sent an angel unto Jerusalem to destroy it: and as he was destroying, the Lord beheld, and he repented him of the evil, and said to the angel that destroyed, It is enough, stay now thine hand. And the angel of the Lord stood by the threshingfloor of Ornan the Jebusite.
• God outsources deliverance in John 3:17: For God sent not his Son into the world to condemn the world; but that the world through him might be saved.
• God outsources Armageddon in Revelation 5:6: And I beheld, and, lo, in the midst of the throne and of the four beasts, and in the midst of the elders, stood a Lamb as it had been slain, having seven horns and seven eyes, which are the seven Spirits of God sent forth into all the earth.
• God outsources his mother-in-law in Judges 9:23: Then God sent an evil spirit between Abimelech and the men of Shechem; and the men of Shechem dealt treacherously with Abimelech:

Holy Kaw!